Fernweh, a word that perfectly encompasses everything I feel at this very moment. Fernweh is German for the intense and absolute desire to wander and travel.
In life, the general consensus is, that home is where the heart is. But what if you lost and left your heart all over the world?
Sometimes you can feel so lost when travelling; you are out of your comfort zone, tired, scared or faced with one of the many challenges travelling brings with it. Not to mention that no matter where you are, there are certain comforts of being home that you will always miss. Friends, family, your own bed, or in my boyfriend’s case, a normal toilet…
However, when travelling as much as I do, spending a lot of time at home often presents itself to be somewhat of a challenge. I miss the sense of wonder I get when in a new place; experiencing the unfamiliar; being impulsed in new and exciting ways; exploring the local kitchen; meeting new friends, and of course, the sharing of our mutual love for travelling.
It is hard to explain to people who are so content with where they live that being away from home means everything to you. I miss it all. The good, the bad and the ugly. But most of all, the never-ending learning curve that is called travelling.
Every journey I have made has changed me, or my life, in some sort of way. Sometimes this change was ever so subtle and I only came to realise this change long after having returned home. But at times my travels changed everything. Like the time I went backpacking for four months and it ended up changing every aspect of my life…
While I was away, my parents sold my childhood home meaning I would come home to, well, no home. In Thailand, I met the man I still love, live with and am about to marry, today, which led to me moving country. I visited China for the second time and I found myself absolutely in love with this amazingly diverse, beautiful, exciting and invigorating country, which led to me going back to university to study Mandarin. I left everything I knew when I moved to London and had to start my life over. New home, new relationship, new friends, new challenges, new everything. It changed both my life and myself and although it was definitely not easy, I can’t press enough how incredibly happy I am it did. It is the best thing that ever happened to me and all because I left behind what I knew. Life is not what happens while you’re busy planning it, life is what happens when you step out of your comfort zone and live it.
I look back and can see the connections between what I went through then and where I am now. It changed not only my life, it changed me and I am so grateful it did.
I lost my heart all over the globe and I’m lucky to call myself a citizen of the world.